As a wedding blog at Wedding Planning With Poise, I’ve discovered that stress from weddings affects couples’ relationships. It’s not a fact that planning weddings is stressful. On top of the fact that co-working with your spouse and coming to a consensus on important decisions can be difficult!
In this post, I’m going to speak about three strategies you can apply (starting this day!) to help you manage the stress of organizing a wedding celebration with your spouse.
How to Talk About Sensitive Topics
Sensitive issues – like family expectations, money Prenups, and religious beliefs, among others – will undoubtedly be discussed when planning your wedding. These are the ones that are supported by strongly held opinions and feelings. It is crucial to discuss these issues with a wide-ranging mind and a compassionate heart. So, any disagreements can be turned into occasions to get to know your partner at a deeper level.
As an example, at the time I planned my wedding, my friend and I were unable to reach a consensus on the amount of money we would need! However, when we stopped fighting and began to talk – we discovered that we had different views on money on a larger scale. The disagreements went way past the cost of the wedding, but we also learned something new and were able to get to know each other better.
Here are two easy strategies to follow when you speak about sensitive subjects:
Listen. If two people are focused on proving their point but are not willing to listen, nobody gets heard. Therefore, make sure to pay complete attention to the conversation and listen with a non-judgmental and open mind, with the intention of getting to know your partner.
Be empathetic. Empathy is the act of taking yourself into the shoes of your partner. One way to accomplish this is to let go of your problems for a few seconds and put yourself in the perspective of your partner. This can help to raise the degree of compassion, understanding, and respect for one another’s requirements.
Here are my tips to get “unstuck” – so you can continue to build with your plan for your wedding momentum:
Be aware. The amazing thing about nature is that your body will signal you when you’ve reached the point of exhaustion. Perhaps you’re feeling tired, or you’re ready to give up, or maybe your thoughts are wandering. These are all signs of stress and suggest it’s time to take an escape! Pay attention to those signals! Pay attention to your body and mind, as well…
Stop. Really, take an extended break (at minimum, a full day or two) to allow you to return with a new eye, a fresh mind, and a new perspective. If you remain in a state of decision-making and you don’t take a break, you’ll likely be trying to find your way – which can be very stress-inducing. Instead, let your mind wander off the issue. You can also treat yourself to a night out with your partner!
Pick your battles. If you don’t have something that you’re very concerned about, it’s probably not worth spending too long time thinking about it. Certain decisions may be more important than others. Therefore, it’s better to save your time and energy for the most meaningful ones.
When my friend and I began planning the wedding of our dreams, we realized the fact that we were starting to fade away in the planning of our wedding. (Does this seem familiar?) At the time, the only thing the talk was about was our wedding, and it put lots of stress on our marriage.
We began to establish limits and put our relationship first over wedding planning. This meant that we should keep wedding talks to one day a week so that we were able to relax for the rest of the week without any wedding chatter (and consequently, no stress from the wedding)!
This helped us get our relationships back on track, it let us relax, and it helped us become more efficient. Additionally, when we felt stuck in our decision-making process, we’d talk about it until the meeting ended, and we’d continue where we left off in the next meeting.